snap shot writing

Hi guys,

At school we are learning to make our writing more descriptive. We have to write the events of what we did in our holidays but we have to write them in snap shots. A snap shot is using really descriptive words to make the reader actually see, taste and feel what we are writing.

the cinema:

As I got out of the car the crisp night air waked me in the face and instantly I let out a small cry, I walked in to the cinema the aroma of popcorn hit me in the face, I saw the kids nagging there parents asking when they can go in. I could here the car crashes and gun shots in the action movies. As we took our seats I took a bite of my choc top, it was cold and smooth and creamy, my two front teeth buzzed furiously as I took my second bite. The movie started and the ads and trailers started to play

Bowling-

As we pushed through the doors I instantly herd the rumbling sound of the ball gliding down the shiny slippery alley then crash I here the boom of the pins getting knocked down. I here the screams of joy ” strike” then I here the clapping of the crowd, we got our shoes and got our bowling balls, they were oily and heavy, we typed our names on the screen and I threw my ball down the lane. I got 1 pin. yay.

Skating

We got out of the car and the crunch of the stones on the ground was loud in the silent morning, the crisp morning air filled my lungs as I breathed in. We walked in the door and it was empty, a eary strangeness hung in the air, we walked along the plush carpet and a smiley man came to greet us. we got our skates and we rolled on to the rink, it made a smooth quiet sound. And we were off.

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